My female friends are forces of nature. Steady jobs with responsibilities; careers in diplomacy and in law; self-employed entrepreneurs with innovative niche businesses; and a sought-after English teacher in Switzerland. Skilled, intelligent, humble beings, some of them always wanted to have kids, some came around the idea and gave birth in their early forties. There is one common denominator in all their cases, besides being my friends in the last couple of decades: they ALL shared anxiety before re-entry to the business sphere. Here goes the first rhetorical question: If highly skilled and educated women feel anxious, how do less privileged new Mums feel?
There are worries the individual has in their head; there are stereotypes they must conquer when returning from parental leave; and there is the constant fear and bad feeling about leaving the kids at home, in day-care, or wherever, “am I a bad mother?” Based on my empirical survey, the most significant fear the individuals have is whether they would still be able to communicate and be interested in “grown-up company” after spending weeks or months talking about Choo-Choo Train. Some of them stayed home for years and they might have missed when a new version of Microsoft Word or a new field-specific software came out. They doubt themselves and their tech skills: can I pick up how to use new technologies; how fast can I readjust myself; will they be patient, or will I become the boomer of the crowd?
Dr. Linda Szijjártó PhD, TEDx speaker and university lecturer is conducting research on these questions in a more scientific way. If you would like to share your experiences and fears in a completely anonymous way, we will come closer to detect the current Hungarian ambiance in this field. Mums and Dads who have already reentered the labor market after spending some time on maternity leave, we would appreciate if you could dedicate 5-10 minutes to fill out the survey here: https://qualtricsxmtw9xx3bxl.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_dhVou3oxmCwgxp4
As a starter, women between the age of 28 – 37 are discriminated against during interview processes due to the “maybe baby” phenomenon. Then, when they actually have a baby and go on leave with a stable job the messages on the farewell card, “we are waiting for you, Sarah” are not that sincere. On one hand women are criticised if they stay too long (or not long enough) on maternity leave, on the other hand when they decide to come back to work, they feel open or semi-open hostility radiating from colleagues and working environments. The “maternity wall bias” is not a new phenomenon but it has only recently entered discussions and questionnaires. There is a strong stereotype indicating that mothers are less career-oriented and less responsible in their jobs. If a childless female is out of office, colleagues assume she is either on business or working hard on a business. If a Mum is away from the office the majority assumes she must be picking up the kids from soccer practice.
Bright Horizons, a UK-based nursery school is not only a nursery with three decades of experience. If it was a corporate – multinational entity, their program would fall under the CSR umbrella. They teamed up with classic corporations from HSBC to the Royal Air Force to name but a few and publish a representative survey of Modern Family Index on a yearly basis – and there is a US-version of the survey as well. The 2024 edition is out of the oven, and it not only gives a snapshot of modern UK families' thoughts on work – life jiggles but it draws conclusions and gives hints to employers why and how to keep mums and dads in their org charts.
What is the cruel truth in the UK? 67% of parents are sort of comfortable bringing up family matters to their managers, down from 71% last year. 11% never ever talks about parental obligations. One quarter of employees with kids have concerns about burnout. 74% of the female workforce say they “carry the mental load for parenting” and 48% of male workers state the same. Every second women who work flexible hours or more from home-office say they do so because they can fulfil their duties related to childcare, compared only to every fourth working man. 63% of women say their careers will progress less because of the flexible working conditions they took on. Let us stop here for a second: every second woman states that flexibility is a factor when taking on a job; while almost two-third of them admit that this slows down their careers. Here is our second rhetorical question: do mums really have a choice when choosing flexibility?
Figure 1. shows what the difference is in perception regarding some parental issues by the employers. The data presented begs the question: are companies really more understanding when it comes to remote workers, or managers and bosses already write off the hybrid workers and not consider them as good colleagues as those in the offices?
There is no doubt about the fact that Mums must have a comfortable place in working environments. It is beneficial for the individuals, for the communities and for the companies. The world is changing rapidly, and flexibility does not sound as bad as before the Covid-waves hit. Does it help Mums? Unfortunately, based on the survey presented, not as much as it should. It might only conserve the classic situation where Mums are overlooked when it comes to promotions. A family-friendly, inclusive working environment offers childcare-help, genuine flexibility and a transparent working culture where employees and employers can actually talk about their challenges and overcome the difficulties together. Otherwise, we as society- not only companies, mums, and kids - lose big on resources.
Ágnes Holtzer
*Sources:
https://hrreview.co.uk/app/uploads/Bright-Horizons-Modern-Families-Index-2024-Report.pdf
https://solutions.brighthorizons.co.uk/resources/research/modern-families-index-2024
